TOUR-#9-Northview-WINNERSHere they are from left to right: SCOTT -2nd place; DANNY – 1st place; JASON, 3rd place

My spy tell me that NorthView Ridge is Scott and Jason’s stomping ground.





During the last Thursday of each month, we have an “open” schedule. DANNY, a marshall at NorthView, managed to get us our tee times on that busy day. Aside from two foursomes ahead of us, we were the only golfers at the Ridge that day due to a very large tournament by Vancouver Firemen scheduled at 1:00 pm.

BAMBOOZLED by 1st time participants

SCOTT, MELVIN (MARIO’s son) and JASON joined the Birdiehunters at the ridge. The trio are regular members of VAN CITY GOLF (with established RCGA/CPGA handicap indices).  (If you recall, I was named “Honorary Team Captain” of the club at the last PAL INTERCLUB TOURNAMENT, and along with CHANG HJ, represented the team.)

SCOTT has a terrific game. When I played with him at Redwoods, I remember him putting for birdies on many holes. I wasn’t a bit surprised when someone reported that he played a 5 wood to 10 feet of the pin on the signature par 4 8th hole of the Ridge.  His 74 was the lowest gross of the day.

There is no truth to the rumour that as a course marshall. DANNY had a lot to do with the pin placement at the Ridge. He did arrange, however, for all the KP markers for our club. With his updated handicap index and a sizzling 79, he grabbed the top prize of the day from SCOTT.

First time lucky? It would seem that way. JASON took 3rd place at the Ridge.


Revisiting our rule concerning “new” participants to our tournaments is necessary to avoid questions.

When “prospective” new members are invited or accepted to join us, we exercise two options:

1) Allow them to play but not participate in the tournament until they have recorded 5 games, OR

2) Allow them to participate in the tournament, PROVIDED they have a verifiable, certified valid RCGA/CPGA/PGA handicap indices.

There is a stipulated qualification however. During the 1st 5 games, their applicable handicap index shall be THE LOWER of their index and that recorded on our system. For example, in the case of DAVID and DANNY, we accepted their declared index and applied this rule to their subsequent 5 games.


michelle wie

At the US OPEN last week, here is what was reported on the Live Update for the LPGA:

“05:04 p.m. EDT Michelle Wie takes advantage of the relief she took from the sprinkler head being in her line of play on the 14th hole and hits a nice chip to two feet. She taps in for par. Three-stroke lead, four holes to play, and her closest pursuer, Stacy Lewis, has run out of holes.”

Actually, she did not chip the ball; she putted from off the green.

She took the relief from Rule 24-2 Immoveable Obstruction, local rule.  Actually, contentious issues also involve Rule 25-1 – Abnormal Ground Condition. You can google these rules for further clarification.  Under Rule 24-2, if a player stance may be impeded by a sprinkler,  or an immoveable obstruction; or if the ball lies within the obstruction, he may drop the ball away from the obstruction without penalty. If the obstruction (sprinkler head) is “in the line” of his target, Rule 24-2 does not permit a “free drop” UNLESS a “local rule” opts to allow the relief.

If Pinehurst Resort and Country Club in North Carolina (site of the PGA and LPGA US Open) adopts the option under Rule 24-2, The BirdieHunters of BC, as a club follows suit.

Thus, under Summer Rules, if any immoveable obstruction impedes your stance, your swing, or the lie of your ball, you may seek relief under option (D) of Rule 24-2!

In case you wish to be technical, be guided by these definitions:

“An immovable obstruction is an artificial object on the course that cannot be moved (e.g. a building) or cannot readily be moved (e.g. a firmly embedded direction post). Objects defining out of bounds are not treated as obstructions.

An abnormal ground condition is casual water, ground under repair or a hole, cast or runway made by a burrowing animal, a reptile or a bird.”

A hole in the ground that was left by greenskeepers or workers (in particular around the green) is also considered as “an abnormal ground condition” whether marked as GUI or not! Free relief is available under Rule 24-2 and 25-1!


TOUR #8 – Kings Links WINNERS


1st place – MARIO (center); 2nd place – KING KONG (left); 3rd place – HAN (right)

If you can putt; if you can stay away from the rough; then you can score at Kings Links! Now then, if you add luck to that, then you are unbeatable. That seemed to be the case with our Tour #8 winners. I think we could add a nickname to the top prize winner – “Sneaky long”. Now, now, we are referring to his tee shots, silly! MARIO must have been studying Ben Arda’s tapes. In case you are not aware, Ben Arda was the Philippines best golfer during his time. At only 5’7″ tall,  Ben was the first Filipino to qualify for the Masters and the US Open. Diminutive as he was in stature, he could smash his drives with unimaginable distance earning the nickname “Bantam Ben” and “Toy Tiger”!

Meanwhile KING KONG HARRY erased his 9 on the opening hole par 5 (2nd) by putting together a series of pars.  He settled down after a few holes and kept his “unforced errors” to a minimum to  come in with a terrific score for 2nd place.

Meanwhile, it seems that HAN has contracted BRINKS Security to handle his bank loot from all the tournaments. He has been the winningest member so far. So don’t be alarmed when he shows up at Point Roberts with armed guards.

2014 Multiple Winners

TOUR #7 – Riverway WINNERS

1st place – EL KAPITAN (center); 2nd place – DAVID (left); 3rd place – RORY (right)

It just seems that the strategy of “keeping mistakes to a minimum” had paid off for EL KAPITAN, whose 5-under front nine carried his total score decently for a narrow win at RIVERWAY. Six players were within less than 1 point of each other last Thursday. DAVID is 2nd  with his net 69.8. RORY edged HARRY by .1 point to take 3rd place. HAN and VINCENT were .3 and .4 behind!


On the par 4 12th hole at Riverway, someone’s ball rolled through the green and his ball was nowhere to be found. Upon closer inspection, the ball was found in a ground indentation at the rough perimeter of the green. His playing partners declared that no relief could be taken and that the ball must be played as it lies. The player who happened to playing well, protested but could not identify the rule that could have given him relief.


The rule that would have given the player a free drop (relief – no stroke penalty) is Rule 25-1 Abnormal Ground Condition which is defined as follows:52904_ROG_RULESGOLF_TXT.qxd

“An abnormal ground condition is either casual water, ground under repair or a hole, cast or runway made by a burrowing animal, a reptile or a bird.” There are many other detailed illustrations of AGC in rule interpretations. Clearly, if a ball lies in an unusual ground indentation or ground under repair – whether marked or not – the ball may be lifted and dropped without penalty. Tire marks on soft ground left by ground workers are a good example of “unusual ground condition”. A hole left by a pulled stake anywhere around the green or fairway area is also considered AGC!

TOUR #6 – Point Roberts WINNERS


WINNERS-TOUR#61st place – HAN (center); 2nd place – HARRY (left); 3rd place – DANNY (right)

They have to be happy, especially HAN and DANNY – multiple winners so far in the 2014 Golf Tour. These guys are not just golfers; they are musically inclined! HAN is a Cello professor and frequent guest soloist, conductor in some renown musical events in South Korea. HARRY has his swooning fans in some karaoke clubs in Richmond. DANNY plays the cellophane on a comb! He makes quite a racket performing!

HAN has Point Roberts mastered as he consistently shoots in the low 80’s nowadays – in the top 5 gross scorers for the club. HARRY has mastered the craft of keeping his index “high enough”, in preparation for the next Masters Tournament. SB#! contender for sure. DANNY is also in the top 5!

The big guns were silenced at Point Roberts. Is it because it is our first game with “Summer Rules” in effect?


A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

The husband cringed, ‘I warned you to be careful! Now we’ll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us.’

So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, ‘Come on in.’

When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass.

A man reclining on the couch asked, ‘Are you the people that broke my window?’

‘Uh…yeah! , sir. We’re sure sorry about that,’ the husband replied.

‘Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you.. You see, I’m a genie, and I’ve been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years.
Now that you’ve released me, I’m allowed to grant three wishes. I’ll give you each one wish, but if you don’t mind, I’ll keep the last one for my self.’

Wow, that’s great!’ the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, ‘I’d like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.’

‘No problem,’ said the genie ‘You’ve got it, it’s the least I can do. And I’ll guarantee you a long, healthy life!’

‘And now you, young lady, what do you want?’ the genie asked.

‘I’d like to own a gorgeous home in Manhattan complete with servants, and a winter mansion in Palm Springs!’ she said.

‘Consider it done,’ the genie said. ‘And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!’

‘And now,’ the couple asked in unison, ‘what’s your wish, genie?’
‘Well, since I’ve been trapped in that bottle, and haven’t been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to spend some romantic time with your wife.’

The husband looked at his wife and said, ‘Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?’

She mulled it over for a few moments and said, ‘You know, you’re right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn’t mind, but what about you, honey?’

You know I love you sweetheart,’ said the husband.I’d do the same for you!’

So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other.

The genie was insatiable.

After about three hours of passionate encounter, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, How old are you and your husband?’

‘Why, we’re both 35,’ she responded breathlessly.

‘No Kidding,’ he said.

‘Thirty-five years old and you both still believe in genies?’



 TOUR #5 – Mayfair Lakes WINNERS

No one has been saying anything loud about who could be a prime candidate for the title of SB#1 but two names are being shoved about these days: DANNY and HAN. Why? On a “not too ideal condition” at Mayfair Lakes (a little bit of drizzle on a dark cloudy day), someone was tearing the ball out there. He might soon be clamouring for the establishment of another club – “EAGLEHUNTER”.  DANNY has taken a stranglehold of the TOUR with a sizzling performance that included an eagle and a three birdies on May 29 for a NET 64.3!

Not too far behind is another candidate for SB honours: HAN. He, too, recorded a fabulous 66.7 to come in 2nd. He might be the top $ winner so far this year with his sharpshooting abilities! He is picking up KPs on every single TOUR in 2014.

CHANG HJ put in an honest effort to come in 3rd on the day. Appearing below are HAN, DANNY, and CHANG HJ (left to right).


TOUR #4 – Peace Portal WINNERS

No, there is no truth to the rumour that CHRIS wakes up at 6:30; walks to Peace Portal and plays a few holes; and return just to get breakfast ready for everyone. What is true is that he lives just around the corner from the golf course. He must be quite familiar with the golf course though, since he recorded his 1st win ever with the Birdiehunters (May 22). He is shown below flanked by HAN who came in 2nd (by a margin of 0.7), and SIMON, 3rd place.



SIMON blazed the first 5 holes at even par, chipping and dropping putts from all over the place. A few miscues (double par on one hole) surrendered top prize to the winner.

“LITTLE” JOE Shoots in the mid-70’s to Win

He is now the leader in most fairway hits, greens in regulation, and lowest average putts in a round! With his consistency and scoring binge, LITTLE JOE has surpassed CHANG HJ and is fast closing in on DAVID’s lowest held handicap record.

However, there is a monster lurking around the corner. He rips the ball off the tee 275-300 yards; muscles a 9 iron to 150 yards just like Steve Stricker; chips like Kevin Na; and putts like Jordan Speith. On the 9th hole where MARIO had to chip and putt for a double-bogey, JOHN pumped his fist for his birdie! With such attributes and a humongous index, it would be tough to win against JOHN “Stricker-Na-Speith”.

TOUR #3 Kings Links WINNERS

1st place – JOE (3rd from the left)
2nd place – JOHN (2nd from the left)
tied for 3rd – ERNIE & DANNY (rightmost & leftmost)
WINNERS#4JOE now occupies the 2014 leaderboard with two 1st place wins (Tour #1 and #3). DANNY ranks 2nd with his Tour #2 win and Tour #3 tie for third. JOHN and DAVID are tied for third, while EL KAPITAN is in 4th place. MARIO is in 5th place with his 3rd place win at Tour #1.

SIMON our handicap maestro and mafioso mullah collector promised to soon publish an official UPS 2014 TOUR RANKING.





The 2nd group on the course last Thursday had to call in for someone to bring a golf cart ambulance to the 7th hole to attend to KING KONG. After extricating his ball in thick rough left of the fairway from an errant drive, HARRY collapsed in great pain and could hardly get up. His playing companions getting ready for their own turn to make a shot further up noticed his difficulty and immediately made a call to the proshop.  Everyone was concerned when they carted him off the golf course evidently in great distress.

Apparently, he suffered some kind of muscle pain but thankfully, we were informed that he was able to drive himself home.

After investigating the event, someone on the course apparently saw what had happened and sent us this picture, explaining the cause of the pain:

BAD GOLF SHOTI guess it doesn’t pay to get “this frustrated” after a bad shot – causes severe leg pain! Apparently, when he learned about the incident, Bill was extremely worried.




While Annie could not contain herself:


But now that we know what had happened, let us wish KING KONG a speedy return to golf. Meanwhile, JOHN was suspicious about the whole thing.


It appears that KING KONG is quick to recover from the mishap and promises to set the course on fire this coming Thursday at PEACE PORTAL.

No, no, no, he is not bringing a torch gun to the course!

Top Guns Dominate Opening Day

Tour #1 – POINT ROBERTS winners

JOE – 1st place (center)
DAVID – 2nd place (right)
MARIO – 3rd place (left)








With the weather cooperating, a near full slate of birdie hunters got the 2014 golf season started at Point Roberts Golf and Country Club. In a battle between DAVID and “GOLIATH”, the outcome is reversed because Goliath turns out to be LITTLE JOE. Hence, DAVID had to settle for 2nd place. The two were among a few who played in the 70’s. To shoot low numbers early in the season raises the bar immensely.

KING KONG tells me, he too, “plays in the 70’s……but any warmer, I’d rather swim or crochet!”

Meanwhile, “sneaky long” MARIO quietly smashes his drives down the middle, then chips and putts like a champ – for third place.


There were “no chickens” on the golf course on opening day but there was lots of roasted chicken after the game at the International Marketplace where the gang extended camaraderie after the game. At the luncheon celebration, there were no losers…but no wieners either!

Tour #2 RIVERWAY Winners

DANNY – 1st place (center)
HAN – 2nd place tie (left)
EL KAPITAN – 2nd place tie (right)



One of our newer members, DANNY finally shows his stuff, joining the elite top guns shooting in the 70’s. There is good news and bad news. Amongst golfers, it is really tough to determine what is good and bad in this case. With his win comes a price – his index would most likely drop to a single number. It is nice to have a single handicap in golf but then again…….. ok, ok, let’s not talk about sandbagging! 🙂

HAN was top birdie hunter for the day with his three birdies. However, SIMON tells me that “one of the luckiest golfers” in our group was 9 under approaching the 17th – VINCENT. A triple, double bogey finish found him .3 points short of the winners.

A double on the 18th cost EL KAPITAN the tournament – which goes to show how a single stroke could change the outcome of a tournament.

Martin Kaymer’s long par putt on the 17th brought him the PLAYER’S Championship on the 90-minute weather delay at Ponte Verde, leaving Jim Furyk missing a playoff chance being just one stroke behind.


 Tour #3 – KINGS LINKS



Although two groups actually enjoyed sunshine for 12/13 holes before the light drizzle last Thursday (April 24) at Peace Portal, the consensus reached was that we should give “the others” a chance and have a full attendance at our opening day.

Hence, we have re-scheduled the OPENING TOURNAMENT for this Thursday, May 1 starting at 8:30 at POINT ROBERTS.

But who are “the others”? Oh, they are the once who chose to wear a brand new concept in clothing – Disposable Golf Garb designed by Twit McChicken who thinks that after a golf game, the sweat and grime collected at the golf course should be left at the golf course and not allowed to permeate at the living room. But there is just one problem, it can only be worn on a perfect sunny day. One drop of rain will instantly dissolve the outfit. “The others” were afraid of the risk of being fully exposed in the middle of their swing to the consternation of the faithful others.

Here is Twit McChicken with one of his other inventions:


And of course, there are “some others”.

“Some others” are known to be afflicted with the “dark sky syndrome“. According to the Sickadaily Medical Institute, those afflicted with this illness are bound to have had some tragic experiences during childhood. One of the most significant experiences is being born on a brown-out night. The darkness in the room causes a traumatic effect that inhibits the child throughout his life with serious consequences.

Here is what happens to a person with dark sky syndrome when a dark cloud appears in the sky on a sunny day:

oldgolferIt is why we get messages like, “Sorry, I have to cancel because of my health!”
Someone else forgot to turn off his lawn sprinkler. When he awoke that morning, he looked out the window and said, “Oh, it is raining!” and cancelled.



On opening day, we welcome new members. As you all know, prospective members need to be recommended and endorsed by members. We have only a few requirements for membership:

1) They must be gentlemen
2) They must have “basic math skills” – counting to 10 – without fingers
3) They must not be prone to inciting riots or mutiny
4) They must not be inflicted by the “givemeitis” and “mulliganisimo” illnesses


After the game, we shall gather at the Marketplace for a shared roasted chicken lunch and camaraderie.


This is our tentative schedule. Note that on the last Thursday of each month, we have left it “free” so that we could consider playing at another course.

Also, the MATCH PLAY (Ryder Cup) and MASTERS CHAMPIONSHIP have been scheduled in the calendar. An “inter-club” tournament has also been inserted in the schedule. We have plans to have a 2-day inter-club tournament whereby we shall have a competition with another club.



To find out how our HOST TEAM, VAN CITY GOLF, did at the 67th PAL INTERCLUB, visit:

FOR A PICTORIAL ACCOUNT OF OUR EXTENDED GOLF TOUR at BACOLOD and Clark/Angeles City, visit and LIKE our birdie hunters’ Facebook page:

Here are just a few highlights:

MARIO’s 400 Yard Drive on a long Par 5 at Sun Valley Golf


For a while, David’s uphill drive on the same hole seemed outrageously long. With his trademark “smooth” swing, he powered his drive towards the right rough with a draw that brought it back to the right fairway about 10 meters from the cart path.

When it was Mario’s turn, he wanted to make sure he does not surrender another stroke to DAVID! He cranked his drive that sailed about 230 yard (uphill) that kept rolling right. His ball crossed the cart path and settled right there. As we all watched, his ball started rolling slightly. We all gasped and then started to laugh so hard, we had stomach ache. The ball kept rolling on the cart path accelerating downhill. It finally settled behind the red tee-200 yards back.

And now you know the rest of the story!



RIC accepted Chang’s trophy during the Senior Award night. Chang’s 41 and 47 were behind only to one of Canlubang’s top scorer.



MARIO says it all: “I had a blast in Angeles!” Chang played only one game with us as he had a flight to catch the next day. Before he left, he thought that a “Manila Golf Tour” would be better. Little did he know what awaited us at Clark. We discovered TWO (2) premier golf courses within 15 minutes of our hotel: FA KOREA CC and SUN VALLEY GOLF! In addition, we also discovered the world famous “WALKING STREET” in Angeles City. (Won’t say much about that here. Just Google “walking street, Angeles” to find out more.)

DAVID could not contain his excitement. Not only did he play his best games (in the 70’s) for three (3) free lunch; he just had a ball. No need to elaborate. Just ask him!


It all happened as the guys were looking for a place to have lunch. The “designated driver’ of the entire trip made a U-Turn to get to Chow King. As he parked the van, a “Security Officer” approached and said that an infraction had been committed. El Capitan politely brushed it off with a remark, “Forget about it, pal!” He then explained to the others that the “security guard” is not a “regular police officer”; he appeared to be a private security guard, perhaps just bracing to extort. After lunch the foursome got into the van, whereupon a black uniformed motorcycle “cop” accosted El Capitan. MARIO came to his rescue and angrily and loudly berated the officer. We demanded to go to the police station. As we started the car, the agent kept blocking our way and signalling for us to turn left where the police station was located. CHANG had to catch a shuttle for Manila in 30 minutes. To get to the hotel, we had to turn right. The agent kept blocking our vehicle. 

We asked CHANG to disembark and take a tricycle to the hotel where he had to catch his shuttle to Manila. 

CHANG was quite concerned as he left us behind. When he reached Manila, he sent a text to David asking for an update. DAVID texted back and said that El Capitan had been locked up in jail – until he is freed on bail.  

CHANG felt sorry as he had already left!

Well, in fact, when El Capitan got into the police station, he immediately approached to police officer on duty and ask if he spoke “Pampango”, the local dialect. The officer nodded. He started to explain (in that dialect-that the motorcycle cop could not understand) what had happened and what he first thought about the “Security Guard”. Smiling, he said to the black-uniformed patrol agent, “There has been a misunderstanding.” The security agent refused to leave! So the policeman asked for El Capitan’s Senior ID. It was only then that the agent started on his way out – whereupon Mario offered apology and shock hands. The police officer, seeing that the agent has left, returned El Capitan’s ID and said with a smile…”Please be more observant (of road signs) and stay safe!” He added, those “Private Security guards” are our partners assigned to traffic duties at Clark.



Already, bus loads of Korean and Japanese golfers flock to these two magnificent golf courses all year round: FA KOREA CC and SUN VALLEY. Another major golf development is slated to open in San Fernando, just 20 minutes south of Angeles City.

What makes Clark/Angeles preferable? No traffic! Less pollution! Excellent food and entertainment. (Just ask Mario and David!)

Hotels, Casinos, International Schools, and Resort Homes, are currently under construction in the area.