ALAN BREAKS 80

ALAN says that he plays in the 80’s…………..but if it gets any warmer, he’d rather go swimming. Well, last week, he joined Vincent in the Birdiehunters Hall of Flame for the “inglorious” (basterd!) deed of shooting 10 below par.

When SIMON finished his round last week, he approached the 2nd group just finishing their game behind the 18th tee. He had a grin on his face the size of Panama Canal. He immediately demanded the surrender of the score card of the foursome when someone mistakenly asked the question to which SIMON answered without a tint of hesitation, “I shot 80!” That is 9 under par from his index. VINCENT was salivating as he, too, was sitting at 8 under. They were one and two at the time.

SLOW PLAY

It was an excruciating wait for SIMON because the next group was so far behind. It seems that the marshal at MAYFAIR LAKES have now conferred with  the marshal at RIVERWAY, POINT ROBERTS, and KING LINKS, to track down the “culprits of slow play”. According to my classified information, these golf peace officers are now using the latest satellite tracking technology to zero in on golfers who are believed to be playing chess or Chinese checkers between shots.

Here is what the marshals have discovered. They saw  a diminutive person in our group who takes more than two or three practice swings on every shot; circles the entire green 360 degrees; and waits for lightning strike before hitting his putt. They also followed a tall lanky fellow and reported that this person spends minutes checking his GPS…..on the tee……at a par 5! It seems that the diminutive guy and the tall lanky fellow went to the same putting school: circle the green 360 degrees; repair every divot; clear the tiniest grain of sand; sight-plumb every possible break…..then go and play chess before making a putt. They also observed the tall lanky fellow use the GPS on “every shot”, including a flop-shot to the green….and promptly takes a 10 on the hole! I told the marshals, they are sorely mistaken. We don’t have a golf fanatic in our group who mimics Jack Nicklaus or Charles Barkley!

BACK TO THE BREAKING NEWS

When the next group checked in SIMON’s grin turned pickle as ALAN came in with his 79; JOE with 74; and HAN at 81.

ALAN’S win has pushed his standing from 7th place to 4th. The leaders are still comfortably ahead but the tides are starting to turn.

BIRDIES GALORE

There were TEN BIRDIES last week: 3 by JOE; 2 by SIMON; and 1 by ERNIE, HAN, ED, and ALAN.

RYDER CUP

Tomorrow’s TWO-BALL Scramble would determine the mettle of either team (BLUE and GOLD). 

TEAM BLUE has HARRY, ERNIE, JOE, JOHN, GERRY, and ALAN playing.
TEAM GOLD has SIMON, ED, VINCENT, BILL, HAN, and substituting for CHANG HJ who is away is SUNNY.

 

 

 

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