MILES ESTABLISHES RECORD AND SHOOTS PAR

BIRDIEHUNTER MILES SUSPECTED – RCGA INFORMED

It appears that the RCGA is now in the process of imposing a severe sanction against MILES. It is suspected that he would be required to submit to a random blood test to determine presence and use of Performance Enhancing Substances.

Most of those in his foursome today are not surprised of this “breaking news” as they witnessed his most incredible performance on the course.

MILES birdied the 5th, 6th, 9th, 14th, 15th, 17th, and 18th hole (yes, 7 smackaroos) on the way to an even par 72 for the day. According to SIMON, his playing partner, none of these were “gimme” distance.

His unbelievable performance sets a record in the club’s history as the most birdies recorded in a single day by a member – a feat that may never be broken for decades to come.

SURGES INTO THE LEAD

The seven birdies helps catapult MILES into 1st place with 50.5 points-an increase of 32 points for the day – surpassing “Mighty JOE” who only gained 4.5 points.

SIMON 2nd place finish gave him 9.5 points to move up in standing while EL CAPITAN, inspired by guest SHERIDEE and kept honest by playing partner HAN, settled for 3rd place with a net 67.5. He remains in 4th place, 15.5 points behind leader MILES.

SKINS/KPs

Our statistician, SIMON, who continues to “excel” in establishing winners and losers in the SKINS/KP game reports that SIXTEEN BIRDIES/KPs were recorded today. Guests LITO, VIC, BUDI, and SHERIDEE, may have had to do with this exciting day.

Those who stayed after the game celebrated with snacks and drinks compliment of the day’s winner who had to call BRINKS to haul his loot.

UPS TOURNAMENT STATISTICS

TOUR #4 RIVERWAY
DAY RANK
NAME PRIOR

UPS

PAR

GROSS

H.I.

NET

WIN BIRD KP RANK POINTS

#4

HANDICAP
MILES

72

11.3

60.7

5

21

6.0

24.5

56.5

SIMON

85

18.0

67.0

4

5.5

13.0

22.5

ERNIE

85

17.5

67.5

3

5.0

28.0

36.0

CHENG

78

8.2

69.8

6

1

4.5

40.5

52.0

ROGER

90

18.9

71.1

4.0

9.0

13.0

JOE

81

8.7

72.3

1

3.5

18.5

23.0

HARRY

92

19.6

72.4

3.0

7.0

10.0

HAN

87

14.5

72.5

3

2.5

26.0

31.5

ED

89

15.3

73.7

3

2.0

14.5

19.5

VINCENT

94

19.9

74.1

3

1

1.5

13.0

18.5

BILL

99

24.4

74.6

1.0

4.0

5.0

KITCHI

12.0

-12.0

13.0

13.0

BUDI

PRIOR

NEW

H.I.

UPS RANK

POINTS

POINTS

MILES

18.5

50.5

10.5

JOE

40.5

45.0

8.7

CHENG

28.0

39.5

8.4

ERNIE

26.0

34.0

17.4

HAN

24.5

30.0

15

SIMON

13.0

22.5

18

VINCENT

13.0

18.5

20.7

ED

11.0

16.0

15.5

KITCHI

14.5

14.5

11.3

ROGER

9.0

13.0

18.9

HARRY

7.0

10.0

19.5

BILL

4.0

5.0

24.9

BIRDIE HONOR ROLL
PRIOR #4 TOTAL
MILES

2

7

9

JOE

6

0

6

CHANG HJ

4

2

6

SIMON

4

0

4

ED

2

1

3

VINCENT

2

1

3

HAN

2

1

3

ERNIE

2

0

2

JOHN

1

0

1

TYLOR

1

0

1

KITCHI

1

0

1

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